When shyness gets between you and your dreams

Those of you who been with me from the beginning in december 2013 knows about my shyness. I never had the guts to sing infront of people. The fact that I live with a rocksinger who is part of two great bands put a lot of preassure on me. I always loved to sing but I only did it when alone and nobody could hear me. Then something just hit me in december and thats when I decided to go for it. What were I afraid of? Should I let my shyness come between me and my dreams? I decided to not let it stay that way. I have nothing to be afraid of. If anyone complains on the sound of my voice I don't take it personal. My voice is my instrument and I have to learn how to manage it. Just like if I were learning to play the guitar or whatever. When my vocal coach asked me the other day "hey, don't you hear how bad it sounds!? It's awfull!!" I did not break apart. I took his critique with me, understood the point and tried to make it better. That's what this is all about for me. Just do what you want, take the critique and make something good from it. I wish you don't let your shyness or other fears affect you in life. It's just a life, don't take it too serious! //MMR

This is far from a fashion blog

but still... Been searching after clothes that fits my style, and guess what!? I found this Swedish girl that designs clothes that is awesome! I mean, look at this:
What can I say? I jumped right off and ordered pants from this really cool disigners brand, "KissinBombs". //MMR


New file from my producer

Jepp, it´s time for an update. I got a new file from my producer where drums, guitars and base were laid with real instruments and not the ones you use in the software. Sounds good and I really look forvard to get it all together. Our aim is to get it all set around early april. Too bad I have to learn so much about everything that comes around with music, at the other hand these things are so worth the effort! When it comes to job (unemployed for the moment) it seems like I have a new project that probably will start in june, this means I will have loads of time for my music! That feels quite good, ok I will not have too much money to spend but it can be worth it! I keep on working with my poor vocal coach and try to become a bad ass singer while I wait!!! //MMR



Ok, here is another band that I really LOVE, H.E.A.T!!!
Since I am a looser at computers (you know about me and my music-computer, the bastard...)I don´t know how to fix the video in here, but here´s a link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=_f6D5qP9WAc Enjoy! //MMR

Beautiful Sin

Got a tip about the band "Beautiful Sin". A rock band with a female singer, they are good! So now I seem to have got my self the first female role model in the rockgenre :). I like the way she is really pushing it and her strong voice handles it nicely. Like!


A comment right on the spot

Haha, I discussed some vocal techniques with my vocal coach yesterday. Think he got frustrated on me and my impatience. Eventyally he said (with power in his voice) "what you try to do in a very short time normally takes years to achieve". Then he throwed me out. No, he is too nice to do that but the eyes reveald his evil thoughts... And again, this is so me. Want things to move fast. //MMR


Dreams and frustrations

Well, once again I really wish I were a man. My heaven, what wouldn´t I give to sound like a really good male rocksinger?! It is just so frustrating! Don´t get me wrong, I am born in the right sex for me and do not wish to go under any knife to actually become a man ;). And, honestly, it would be quite awkward if I had this deep male voice to go along with my tiny body, hehe. But if I were a man I would sing rock ALL the time, I would live for it and believe in no silence. Ever. Besides dreams and frustrations this day has been dedicated to rehearsing. Again...But its so fun (dispite the female voice I produce :/) that time seems to disappear. Hope u all had a nice weekend! //MMR


Upcoming rockparty

Can't wait until a rockparty next saturday! It will take place north of Stockholm. There will be a few bands playing and I especially look forward to experiencing the band State of Mind. They are great! //MMR



Now I get it, I owerthink and oweranalyze my singing. And because of that I didn't get it right today. Was too focused to get it right that I lost the feeling.
Typical me...


Got more help to develop my singing

With the computer back in life, I got on practicing and recording today. Unfortunately it felt like all the practice I did yesterday made it all worse. I sang so false I never done before, so what is going on!? Fortunately I later got the opportunity to get some more help to develop my singing. Great!
The tips I got will help me a lot when practicing and to get my singing the way I want.
My goal has never been to become a worldclass Beyonce but I am determined to take it as far as possible.



It´s coming back :)

Well, a rough CPR seems to have done it, the bastard (=computer) is coming back to life!
This hopefully means that I will be able to proceed with my recording tomorrow, I do feel for my neighbors, but what the heck!
It kind of putt me down a bit when the "bastard" gave up, I had this tremendous speed and then it just fell back to zero. But at the other hand I have been doing other things instead, like som well needed training for example.

I find it quite amazing what actually happens when you start to think and reflect over the techniqe that you use when singing. Befor I started this journey I just sang. Period. Now I can apply certain techniques to get it to sound so much better. And it´s not rocket science.Cool!

Well, lets see what tomorrow brings!



A crashed computer equals PAIN!

The computer we use for music is dead. Couldn´t it have died like a year ago or something when I was less intrested in it then now?? I do think the bastard have a soul...I gotta wach out at night hereafter, since it obviously don´t like me too much.
I have a deadline that I need to hold so now I am quite stressed :/ Getting help from someone that has better hands with this technology scrap and just wish some CPR will bring it back again.

Well, thank God I can still practice on my vocals without a computer to mess around with. Thats what I´ve been up to today. And I have to say that all the excercises pay off, I have improved quite a bit and that is so fun! Even I can hear it ;)Looking forward to record this someday when the dead one has raised again!



Summing up the journey so far

When I look back over the past 2 months, I realize how lucky I´ve been in many ways. I would like to sum up the journey so far. I got to say that the speed has increased very fast. I started out lika a snail and didn´t really know where I was going. Now I travel in the speed of light!
And this actually scares me a bit.

Will I be able to match my collaborators expectations? I so not want to disapoint any of them!
Will I end up with nothing but a lots of time spend on a stupid and crazy dream?
Will I not be able to bring some hope about "anyone can achieve their dreams"?

I love what I am doing right now, but at the moment I doubt myself...But I know myself pretty good by now and don´t intend to give up. There is always a way to get around obstacles that comes around. The once in your mind is not more stable than others.

Like someone once said:

If you don´t try, nothing will happen


Useless update

I really don´t have much to say about this day, so this is a useless update. Nothing extreamly funny happened, and no one from a music publischer asked me to sign up...How weird is that?? Haha, good I can laugh about myself anyway!

All I did today was practicing, and I will need a lot of it. Try to get into my head that learn to sing the way I want will take time. Boring. But still, for every time I practice there is actualla a difference, so it´s just to keep in there.
I stuggel a bit with my song "When you sleep", I can´t get a certain part of it to sound lika I hear it in my head, quite frustrating but I will figure that out eventually.

Ok, so I wish you guys a nice saturday evening!



If you could belive...

...how fun I had today! I recorded vocals to my song, it is unbelievably cool to hear your own voice to your own lyrics along with the instruments. My God!! It´s been the best day ever!



Vocal training, vocal training and why not even more vocal training?

So, now I have that draft of my song to listen to (my computer is near a crash due to repetitive playing of the song...) and it gets better for every time. I also hear things to improve, like the melody in the verse which needs to be adjusted a bit I think.

Been busy with other things today so I had no chance to do my vocal training. During the comming days I will train a LOT, especially on my song thats under producion. And, if my producer will be satisfied with the work (and I with the singing), then hopefully you will be able to hear it around mid April. How about that!?

I am so looking forward to that and I am already eager to know what you all will think of this song!

Lets just wait...(thats the part I´m good at. NOT!)



Superhappy :)

Guess what landed in my dropbox today....?
A draft of my song! I thought it was great and I am really amazed of the result so far. Think about it, I have been doing this for less than 2 months and my first song is actually under production. I feel superhappy and alive! How on earth am I going to get some sleep tonight (or ever!) after this.
I got even more inspired now which resulted in finishing two more lyrics ;)

I want to do at least one full album. Right now! So- there we have my next goal, hehe...


Haha, I´m busted!

When I started this journey I decided to held it secret to almost everyone around me. Now it turns out I´m busted! Haha, I got to give the guy cred for this, good job!



Ok, this code needed to be here for some reason....



Well, there seem to be nothing wrong with my inspiration anyway! Just wrote lyrics to a new song, not sure what its going to be called yet but "To me" is quite fitting to the content...

Once again I keep wondering why on earth I am not able to do this full time? I don´t want to work with anything else than this. I love it so much, feels like I finally found myself. Really deep, I know...The lyrics in my head keeps banging on to get out on a paper regardeless of what time of the day (or night) it is. Hmmm, maybe I´m sick somehow...

Please, please just let me be financially indipendent. Just for a while....


Now it happens

Some things can´t move from 0 to 5 billion in 0,3 seconds. Others apparantly can. I handed over one of my songs for production yesterday, I just can´t wait to get to hear just a part of it! Excited!
It´s just totally unbelievable how fast things can happen.

Maybe this will turn out bad, not because of the guy producing (he seems to know what he is doing!) but because of me and my voice.
That kind of freaks me out a bit. But at the same time; this is me. I sound like this. My goal was to record about 3 or 4 songs this year and put them out for release. So I will stick to my goal, no matter what. If you guys out there don´t like it, it will be a shame but nothing I can change.

I hang on to my dream and wish it will turn out well!



My voice is going down

After 1 hours vocal training I went for a date with Cubase to record "When you sleep". During the recording I felt unhappy with parts of it, especially the stick and parts of the verses. So, I had to go for a pencil and now I feel quite pleased with how it turned out. I´ve been singing so much today that I had to take a break and make a cup of tea with honey (I hate honey but I do it for the sake of my voice. Sacrificing...)
Cubase is nicely waiting upstairs so now I´m going back up there;)



Destiny or what?

I still don´t know if I believe in what we usually call "destiny", but I still find it strange that shortly after finding my passion for music, I got unemployed. For the first time ever. I do have a lot of time for my project now and I will for sure use that time wisely.
Also, during this time I´ve been lucky enough to meet many people willing to help me out, isn´t that great? At the same time I wonder why they want to spend any time on me. The crazy, imptient girl that lacks all kinds of experience. Just started to sing and...I just don´t get it. 

But because I decided to do this, (call it goal-oriented or stubborn... ) I give my soul for this. This is the way I am, all or nothing! If i decided to do something, I do it! I will give you an example; 
In school I always hated mathematics. I really sucked on it and coud never figure out why I needed to understand, which I never did anyway. But then, many years later, I started dreaming of taking an MBA (Master of Business Administration). That course includes a lot of mathematics since it focuses on economics. Hrm. But hey, how hard can it be ;) It turned out to be really hard. Especially since I had my full time employment to take care of aswell. Now I have my degree, it was not without tears and blod, but still I made it. And I am proud over my achievement.  This is what my ongoing journey is all about. I want to show you all out there that everyone can fulfill their dreams. I never had high thoughts of myself and that made me who I am today. Now I take revenge on myself. I am totally convinced that the power we have within just needs to be let out. You can make it.

Ok, lets go back to where I were..I usually spend around 1 hour a day on vocal training, then I work on my lyrics and the melodies.
My intentions for tomorrow is to keep on rehersing on my first song, "Power within", and if I get it the way I want I will also record it. Next up is the new song, which is for a project on a newly found collaboration. The song is "When you sleep" and I am going to give a shot at recording the song to that tomorrow!

So you see, unemployed or not- I always have much to do!

//MMR (again...)

A great time to live!

Hi and welcome to my "sunday-thoughts".
I got to tell you how lucky I feel about living in the 2014. You all know about my crazy dream and how little I can make on my own due to lack of knowledge and skills when it comes to creating music.
I started this journey all alone, along the way I found someone to help me recording and building up the music. But time seems to come in our way quite often. So I started to look around for others to collaborate with. I found one that can help me with both music and producing and just yesterday I run in to someone on the internet that has great skills as a lyricist. Read a few of his lyrics and they are SO great!

My initial though of this project was to stay strictly to my own lyrics, but when I look around and discover how much amazing jobs are done out there I start to hesitate. Why not let these guys out of the light and choose one of their lyrics for my project?

Imagine I lived a hundred years ago; how far do you think I had come on my journey then?



Now the time has come to present my last inspiratior which is Masterplan! Another power-metal band. Among there songs I can´t help loving "Enighten me".

Jorn Lande is singing on this album and I also listen a lot on his other album, released in his name.




Ok, next up is Pink! With a lot of attitude and lyrics that sounds real and straight from the heart her music inspires me a lot. I also made a cover on her "Sober", maybe thats not doing her justice, but since I like her so much it felt natural to choose a song from her.

I love the attitude, which is not far from my own....



Royal Hunt!

Next up, Royal Hunt!
I discovered this band quite recently. I like them much because of their melodic and progressive rock.

Gives me inspiration to keep on with my own music.




Time to present my second source of inspiration; Avantasia!
And I know...Edguy, Avantasia...but I can´t help loving them and Tobias Sammet.

What can I say...listen to them and you might understand me. It´s powermetal at its best together with orchestras and choirs.




Love, love, love Edguy!
Their metaforic lyrics toghether with the well produced, grand music is just so great.
They are definitely one of my top 5 inspirators and they can more than often be heard in my house and car. Loudly...
The song "Vain Glory Opera", also title of this album, has it all.

So "until we raise again" - adieu!

My top 5 inspirators!

I have not been able to give you any sample of my own songs yet (God, it takes unbearably long time...) so in the upcoming days I thought I´ll give you a list of my top 5 inspirators.
They will be presented with a short description on why they inspire me. Maybe that can shed some light on who I am as an artist and from where I get my influences.

I listen to music all the time, and have been doing so forever. All sorts of genres and artists/bands can make me inspired in different ways, but there is a few of them that I just can´t live without.
Later today I will give you the first one!



"I keep on searching but I....

never seem to find". That is how I feel right now and funny enough it also happens to be the first line in the now quite famous, but yet unheard..., song "Power within".
Today I feel like living in hell, got no interest in looking for jobs, no interest in my songs or texts. Not up for vocal training. Just want to lay down waiting for a better day.

But a good thing happened last night!
My tattooist contacted me about one of my unfinished skulls, so now I am finally going to get that fixed! And because of my no-job situation, I get a heavy reduce in price...can´t do anything else than love the guy!



Unemployed with much time to spend!

So this was actually my first day ever as unempoyed. So far it just feels lika an ordinary day off. I spent part of the hours visiting that friend of mine that has Ken Tamplins vocal-school, so for one and a half hour I trained my voice, lots of scales were bouncing off the walls ;)
It was fun!
I need to get to know mt voice, what I can - and can´t - do with it and I feel this is a good start.

Tomorrow I think I need to reherse on "Power within", both melody and text were changed a bit yesterday.



Verse done!

I don´t know how naiv I actually am. No way I thought it should take so much time and effort in making just one song! Today I have been practicing a lot on my voice and we also build up the music to the verse and put some song to it. The song must be re-recorded a bunch of times I think. I´m far from a proffessional and have to keep on working with my voice-lessons.
I even got angry on myself today. Why in the world can´t I sing as I want to! Frustrating is far from right word but I try to stick to a decent language as long as I can...

This means that I´m not ready to put this song out. Have patience.



It's me again

It's me again!
Managed to fix the intro today, it will be great! Have to find some more time tomorrow to get the rest of it recorded!
Sucks that a day is just about 24hours :(