5 essential tips for those who want to live a boring life

If you wish to live a life without any excitment what so ever; here is my top 5-list:

1. Don´t follow your dreams - or; don´t even try!
2. Listen to critics around you. They might say "Don´t do it, you have no experience!" And then you   don´t do it.
3. Take every aspect of life really seriously.
4. Instead of listening to yourself - take some god damn responsibility and do what other tell you to. Supress all "evil" and crazy thoughts that might come around.
5. Be scared of everything that´s new and unknown to you.

Follow these tips and I guarantee you sucess in a boring life!